Trusting Jay: (A Chicago Suits Romance) (Loving Jay Book 1) Read online

  “Something's come up and I can’t stay.”

  “Huh?”

  “I want to stay, trust me, it’s just business, I have to go.”

  “Oh. Okay.” I tried to suppress my disappointment, I guess people don’t get rich working nine to five. If business comes up on a weekend, he has to go.

  “I brought that disposable cellphone, I put it in your purse so you wouldn’t forget it this time.”

  “Does that mean you’re not coming back to the hotel?”

  “Yeah, but the bill’s settled, so take as long as you want here.” My heart sank.

  “Will I ever be able to have a normal relationship with you again?”

  “Yes. I promise. It should all be sorted out this week.”

  “Can you pass me my keys and wallet?” he said, gesturing to his bedside table.

  “Sure.” I wiggled my body over the bed and picked them up.

  Bentley key fob. Wow, he wasn’t kidding about being rich. I’d lifted his wallet halfway to Jay, when it occurred to me, his driver’s license photo. Those are the worst pictures anyone can take, if I made him see the beauty in it, he might understand how gorgeous he is. I snapped the wallet back to me and began to open it.

  “What are you doing?” he demanded, snatching the wallet from my hand.

  “I wanted to see your license photo,” I protested.

  “No. I’ll text you.”

  Dumbfounded, I watched as he turned and walked away. The hotel room door opened and clicked shut behind him. Though no one was there to see my protest, I flopped my body over, facing away from the direction of the entrance way and sulked.

  I couldn’t decide if his departure was a reflection of me or not. Why the sudden change in plans? And I couldn’t shake the warning bells over the whole non-contact, disposal phone thing. What did our relationship have to do with a business deal?

  The need to pee finally won out over my reluctance to leave my bed, and I left the comfort behind. Once up I wanted out of that room as fast as possible.

  I threw on my clothes from the night before, leaving my ripped bra where it had landed when Jay had taken it off me, and hurried home.

  35

  The first thing I saw when I walked into my condo was the vase full of lily’s Jay had brought me. Petals had started to fall off onto the table underneath. They were getting past their prime and as much as I didn’t want to, I would have to throw them away. Dispose of them. One lily in the bunch hadn’t opened yet, and it struck me as being clamped shut to hide whatever it held inside.

  To get my mind off of Jay, I decided to do some work. It was the first time I had ever done any work outside of office hours, let alone at home on a Saturday, but I needed to get a head start on my new role. To impress Richard and make the department what I always thought it could be if Calvin hadn’t been in the way.

  But restructuring the entire reporting process wouldn't be an easy job, I just had to hope all the extra work will pay off and make a name for myself within the company. It was great having direct access to Richard without having to go through Calvin, but if I ever wanted to be promoted into Richard’s position I would need all the senior managers to know my name.

  I worked all the way till dinner, using my personal laptop to map out reporting information and lay out a timeline for the implementation of each report, since the work would have to be done in stages.

  My phone and the disposable sat on the table on either side of my computer but there hadn’t been any word from Jay. I tried not to let it distract me. But with each passing hour the weight in my stomach grew heavier.

  I hadn’t decided if I was mad at him or not. I was definitely annoyed at the way he had left this morning, without even a kiss goodbye. And I was disappointed he had to go at all, instead of spending the day with me like he’d promised. But then I thought a little further back, to last night and my insides swirled like a tornado of lust. How could I be angry at someone who had had that effect on me?

  He had made the Calvin attack in the bar shrink away to nothing, notable now only to highlight the way Jay made everything better.

  He said he loved me. Love. And I believed him. I think I felt the same about him.

  The wealth bombshell even seemed insignificant since his reason for not telling me made so much sense. Every once in a while I’d wonder what his house looks like. How he got his money.

  I tried googling Jay Mickle, but found a big fat nothing. No Facebook page. No twitter account. Though maybe rich people don’t go on those websites. I trolled through Google images, but found nothing. Maybe that’s the reason he doesn’t want his picture taken, to keep some anonymity.

  At six I pushed the work aside and made myself dinner. While I ate I flicked on another old romance movie. I could never get tired of watching them. I chose Some Like It Hot, to reflect my state of confusion.

  Halfway through the movie the intercom buzzed. My chest fluttered, maybe it was Jay. Not bothering to pause the movie, I skipped over to it.

  “Yes.”

  “Delivery for Abbie White.”

  “Okay,” I said buzzing the man in.

  Delivery. Not Jay, but it must be from him, and I welled with anticipation. I opened my door and waited. The elevator opened and a delivery man walked out, carrying a huge box.

  I carried it into my kitchen and pulled open the box. The smell hit me in the face. I inhaled, drawing as much air as possible through my nose, savoring the scent. A massive bouquet of lilies that dwarfed the size of the lilies sitting on my coffee table. And they were already displayed in a suitably large vase.

  I plucked the card from the package.

  Sorry I had to leave this morning. J.

  I searched all the wrapping for another note, but that was it, nothing more. Disappointing, but I took another sniff of the flowers to comfort myself.

  The scent was strong and filled the entire condo. For some reason it made me want to cry happy tears. The scent was like Jay, enveloping all of me without any warning. He’d appeared in my life and now his presence radiated throughout my body, the way the scent now radiated throughout my condo.

  I set the flowers on my dining table, they created a canopy that almost reached the table’s edges. I poured myself a glass of wine and went back to the movie, sitting on the sofa because the lilies blocked the view from the table.

  Just as the movie’s credits began, the intercom buzzed again. In a repeat of earlier, my heart fluttered thinking it might be Jay. It must be Jay, he’d already sent flowers.

  “Yes?”

  “Delivery for A. White.” Disappointed, my heart slowed to its regular beat.

  “Come up.”

  A delivery man emerged from the elevator carrying a box that clearly contained clothing. It was wrapped in black paper that shimmered in the light, finished with a wide silver ribbon and bow. The wrapping alone looked more expensive than any of the gifts I gave. Or received. I carefully pulled it apart, intending to reuse the thick paper.

  Inside was another Agent Provocateur outfit. This one a sheer fabric, with black satin along the boning and cups. A black floral pattern was embroidered in the shear panels up the front. I held it up, revealing not one but two matching thongs, as well as silk stockings.

  I opened the card.

  Can’t wait to rip these off of you. J.

  I giggled. The price of the thongs was as much as I spend on groceries in a month and he intentionally buys them just to ruin them. That’s fine, I can’t wait for him to rip them off me either.

  No sooner had I sat back down than the intercom buzzed again. Another delivery man, this one with a package the size of a small pizza box that was surprisingly heavy. It was wrapped in gold paper with a swirl of glitter across it.

  I carefully pulled apart the paper to reveal a black hinged box covered in velvet. My heart stopped. Every woman everywhere knows that’s the kind of box jewelry comes in. I ran my fingers over the softness, then slowly pulled it open.


  I gasped and blinked. A platinum pendant necklace with a solitary diamond. My fingers trembled as I ran them over it. The diamond was large enough to cover my fingernail. In the center of the display were matching solitary diamond earrings. My breath quickened, and I had to sit. It was too much. Too incomprehensible.

  A little card was tucked into the side, a little rectangle, as if the gift had come from the florist.

  Wear these with it too. J.

  Unbelievable. I shook my head, trying to shake it clear. The intercom buzzed again. I didn’t get my hopes up that it was Jay himself.

  I buzzed up another delivery man, this one with a heavy cube. Inside was a bottle of perfume. Clive Christian. I’d never heard of it, but it looked expensive. Felt expensive. It even had a little crystal on the bottle. I sprayed a bit on my wrists then breathed in the heavenly scent. Once again there was a little card,

  Wear this too. J.

  When Jay? When would I get to wear all this for you? It’s really bad, in very poor taste. But I figured poor is what I am. I had to know. I tried Googling the jewelry but didn’t find it. I Googled the perfume. Fuck me. That’s not a crystal on the bottle, it’s another diamond. It cost more than the corset. Sure Jay, what’s a few grand on a bottle of perfume? And here’s me worrying about paying my mortgage.

  The buzzer went again. A perfectly sized pair of shiny black Louboutins, again with the same note from Jay.

  Wear these too. J.

  The next time the buzzer went, it was Burberry overcoat.

  Wear this too. J.

  I reached for the disposable phone, I couldn’t take It any longer.

  When do I get to wear all this stuff for you?

  That sounded ungrateful. I tapped my fingernail against the screen, worried I sounded ungrateful. A few minutes later it chimed.

  Friday, a car will pick you up at seven. Wear everything I’ve sent, and nothing else. J.

  I stared at the message and read it again and again. My pussy moistened at the thought of leaving my condo in these gifts. Most of all, I was excited to see where he lives. I didn’t bother to text him back. I got the sense my texts were little annoyances for him.

  Instead I typed a text to Jenny. A ‘you’ll never believe this,’ but then I deleted the words. For some reason I didn’t want to share this. Not yet. For now I wanted it all to myself. Wanted Jay to myself. And I wanted to fantasize about what he had in store for me.

  To think about how I would style my hair to best show off the diamond earrings. That I would paint my nails to match the red on the bottom of the shoes. I even considered shaving a J into my pubic hair. No, I couldn’t be so tacky with all these elegant things.

  36

  Once again I arrived at work early. Eager. I wanted to make a name for myself. To get these reports implemented. all the work I’d done at home was waiting for me in my email. It would be quick to get it onto the work’s system and match it up with the actual numbers.

  I emailed Richard first thing, requesting a meeting to show him my ideas. I was giddy with excitement. This was my chance to shine, and I intended to make a big impact.

  Sam turned up just before nine, I hurried her into my office and gave her a quick summary of my hotel stay with Jay. I hesitated, then went on with my story.

  “On Saturday night he sent me a pile of gifts.”

  Her eyes widened. “Gifts, huh?”

  “Expensive ones. Perfume with a real diamond on it! Plus Louboutins.”

  “Shut up!” she interrupted.

  “That’s not all. He sent a massive diamond necklace and matching diamond earrings.”

  The color drained from Sam’s face. It was difficult to comprehend. I’d spent Sunday looking at them over and over, trying to satisfy myself that they’re not a figment of my imagination.

  And my insides clenched each time I imagined myself wearing it all for Jay. Okay, I may have put the entire outfit on once or twice and looked a myself in the bathroom mirror. Flashing myself with the tench coat. I wore the shoes all day, practicing walking in their impossible height.

  “You are one lucky lady,” Sam said.

  “No kidding, I was so lucky to meet him. But beyond all the gifts, I like him. A lot. I wouldn’t care if he was penniless.”

  Richard walked past, and I shooed Sam away to catch him. My enthusiasm must have piqued his interest because he dropped wherever he was going and came into my office. I spend an hour going over my ideas with him and was encouraged by his response. He gave me the green light. Not only to implement the new reports but to hire two new people to do the grunt work.

  He left my office, closing the door behind him, and I watched him walk past the glass walls back to his own office.

  I sat back at my desk and checked my email. I’d intended to email Marla, to give her the job briefing and have her find me some new employees. My curser was on the compose button when an email from Calvin appeared in my box, the subject “James McAllister fucks his staff.”

  Weird. Why would Calvin be emailing about the owner of our company? I didn’t know much about James McAllister, his office was three floors above mine. Who knows what went on up there in the upper echelons of the company? But Calvin’s name alone was enough to increase my pulse.

  I clicked it open, the contents an instant kick to my stomach.

  James McAllister fucks Abbie White in public and in exchange for a promotion

  No other text was in the email. Only a picture. Of me straddling Jay topless at the lake.

  I felt like my office chair was spinning me at ninety miles an hour. James McAllister? As in the founder of Force McAllister? Once I recovered from the shock of the intimate photo of me, I Googled James McAllister. Page after page of images of Jay came up.

  His name wasn’t even Jay. James. James McAllister who three nights ago lied his face off and had said there were no more secrets between us. That I couldn’t take his picture because he was insecure about his looks. And I’d believed him. I grabbed my recycling bin and dry heaved into it.

  Sam rushed into my office, pushing the door shut behind her. She was at my side, rubbing my back and hugging me. I stood and looked aimlessly around the room.

  “Come on, I’m walking you home.”

  “Look at the email Calvin just sent me. Jay Mickle is James McAllister.”

  Sam looked at me as though she held a pistol to my temple. “Honey, he sent that email to the entire company.”

  I collapsed in on myself but Sam’s arms were around me, holding me up. My mind crashed with the new information. As fast as they left my life, all my problems were back. And bigger. I couldn’t work here anymore. Not when everyone has seen the photo.

  “No no no, this can’t be.” Who I was pleading with? Anyone. How did I get into another relationship built on lies? Why? I was adamant I would never have another man in my life because they can’t be trusted. None of them. I learned that from Matt. I swore off them, but I caved and went out with Jay. Jay, I mean James proved that beyond any shadow of a doubt.

  “Honey, it’s okay, you’re going to be okay, you’re strong. You will get through this.” Sam kept her voice low as she rambled on, trying to comfort me. But the truth is there is no way out of this.

  Through the glass walls, people kept walking past. Slowly. Peering in but trying to make it obvious they hadn’t come to laugh at me. Laugh at me naked and fucking in the woods. Laugh at me for being promoted for fucking the owner of the company. Were they also laughing because I didn’t know who I was fucking?

  My office door flung open, bouncing off the wall behind it. Jay stormed in. James stormed in. Sam gripped me harder as he rushed over to us. He put his hand on Sam, attempting to shove her off of me but she wouldn’t let go.

  37

  “Leave, now,” he said to her through gritted teeth.

  “Absolutely not.” She stood her ground. She would protect me. The traffic of people going past the glass office wall increased, their paces decreased. My heart po
unded off the inside of my ribs, so hard I thought it would crack the bones. I couldn’t focus. It seemed like I was drunk, with things moving in and out of focus. Jay. Sam. The spectators. My memories of Matt. I heaved again.

  “I said leave.” Jay’s voice was so ferocious Sam flinched. They stared into each other before Sam relaxed her hold on me.

  She looked me in the eye, tucked a strand of hair behind my ear and said, “I'll wait right outside, I’ll be watching, making sure you’re okay. Is that okay? You signal if you want me to come back in. Answer me. Is that okay?"

  I nodded, but the tears started. She kissed my cheek and left the office, closing the door behind her. I kept my eyes on her, to make sure she would watch and protect me. Sam flung her arms up at the nosy co-workers, ushering them away.

  I couldn’t look at him. Jay. James. Whoever he was. I could never look at him again. My legs, drained of strength, gave out without Sam’s support and I sat.

  “Abbie, I’m sorry this happened.”

  Like sorry could fix this.

  “I mean it.”

  Like meaning it matters.

  “Come with me, let me take you away from here and explain.”

  Like this can be explained away.

  The sobs fell harder each time he spoke. I reached for a Kleenex to wipe my nose. Then another. And another.

  He rested his hand on my shoulder, I wiggled and turned my chair to break the contact.

  “Abbie. You don’t know everything going on. Let me explain.”

  That’s it. I snapped. “I don’t know everything going on because you’re a liar, Jay,” I spat his name. His fake name. “You’re a fucking liar. Jay or James or whatever the hell your name is.”